Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
