Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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