I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
so much tequila, so little girl.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
