pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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