Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
