u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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