saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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