somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
