cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
