This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just found puke in my bra..
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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