my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
