BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
