you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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