Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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