I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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