They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
areolas are like halos for boobs.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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