She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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