shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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