I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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