people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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