Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
