evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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