My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
