It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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