update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
