I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
