Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
