You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
