So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
