I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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