ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
