This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The uberlube is also flammable
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Randomize
