That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
