I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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