Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
