The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
