home. puking in laundry basket.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
