after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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