Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
