that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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