i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
