its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
