I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
