Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
