so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
