If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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