that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
