your room smells of hookers.
And success
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
