He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
