I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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