I just pynch a tree in the face
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
